WHY

Why would I want to be a burden?
Why would I want to be a bother?
Why do I even bother?
Who would miss me if I was gone?
Does it even matter?
Am I even here?
Where?
Why?
Well there's NOTHING
Nothing I can do right
That's a fact...

I've had 99 bitches but all I want is THE 1

My own mantra is
"I'm not looking for 99 bitches that can live without me...I'm looking for the ONE who can't."
To be THIS you'd be my end game.
To be THIS you'd be my "ride or die"
To be THIS you'd dry the tears from each other's eyes.
The depth that I project this quote to the universe is one of MY soul.
It is my belief that we all have a soulmate.
Some of us may even have multiples.
But no matter how many
I still believe that it comes down to one.
One life mate to walk hand in hand with
One life mate that you form a life with.
One life mate that you grow old with.
To me THIS is the ultimate definition of LOVE.
I believe you'll know this person when you meet them.
They might not arrive in the package that you were expecting.
Actually from my personal experience I believe they may outwardly appear the opposite of what you were "looking" for.
Is that a bad thing?
Hell No!!
Did you fall in love before you even met in the flesh?
In my case... YES!!!
So with that said
I'm no longer seeking 99 bitches to fill my empty days with
But one very special woman who will find that she can't live without me...

Broken

If this is it so be it
We didn't have much fun
No seasons in the sun.
We went on one adventure together
Daily STRESS
Daily regrets
Lost bets
NOTHING during the last week
Did I sign up for.
NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME
Perhaps THE single longest week of
MY LIFE
YOUR LIFE
THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D HAVE TO SEE
If this is it, let it be
The loneliest of loneliness
ALONE in a whole new plane.
NOTHING makes much sense.
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!
WALLS UP
New ones built!!
Second chance...
For you maybe
If this is it so be it

Be Someone's Beacon

Be someone's beacon in this dark storm of life
Be someone's comfort in times of pain
Be someone's reason to smile
Be someone's reason to laugh
Be someone's hand to hold
Be someone's story yet to be told
Be someone's safe harbor
Be someone's shoulder to cry on
Be someone's ear to listen
Be someone's partner in crime
Be someone's love of their life
Be someone's calm in a rolling sea
Be someone's beacon in this dark storm of life...

Show me the way

We take from the Earth what is good & pure. We give back what is bad and tainted.
We take from a person what is innocent and replace it with tears & scars.
OH Great Spirit
Teach me how to Love. Show me the correct path.
~JWM

Unseen

You looked through the forest and could not see the solitary tree
You looked through the souls and you missed me~ JWM

A painful journey

They say suicide is painless
Perhaps one day I'll find out.
Anything must feel better
Than all this God damned Pain
Yet I'm chicken shit
Afraid
Afraid of death
Afraid to live
So distraught inside
Always on the hair trigger of suicide
But aren't we all slowly dying
Shouldn't we be instead slowly living
Life is too fucking short
So why would I want to trim it
Lonlieness is a whole new pain
Just like most internal pains are
You don't see it through my fake smile
You don't even see it in my tears
Had it not for my fears
I would be dead long ago
But somehow I want to live
I do it all for one thing
An invisible force
I'm not even sure exists anymore
I do it for the hope of love
I do it for a soul mate
I do it for an animal they say has no soul
I don't live for me
I live in hopes of YOU
That makes me irrepressible
Damaged beyond on my own good
You all turn your backs to me
Leave me down
Well remember if I rise out of THIS
I won't know WHO you are either
They say suicide is selfish
Yet loving only yourself isn't?
Hypocrites everywhere
Do this don't do that
Good advice
Why because it works for you?
Guess what I'm me
Nothing works
Nothing here to see
I'd be home already
If I knew exactly where home would be.