OK, I know that it has been tradition to think about some things that you would like to change every Dec. 31st and call them "New Years Resolutions"
My #2 Losing weight is cliche`, but it is vital for me to do. I have tried "unsuccessfully" for over a year. I have hypothyroidism and sleep apnea..which I feel have been making it harder than normal to lose weight considering that i have decreased my food consumption and increased my exercise!!!
But here is the list:
But here is the list:
#1) A Relationship that is REAL (as in honest, loving, and growing)
#2) Lose weight
#3) Be less "needy" or dependent on people
#4) Make some REAL friends
#5) Find a healthy, hobby that makes me happy
I will go into details of my trials and tribulations of how it works out... but I plan to put a serious effort into all five of them!!!
So, a person may wonder HOW I arrived at my list of five?
I also notice that three of the five are non tangible and actually seem to be somewhat interconnected.
Well when I looked back at 2011, I honestly found it to be an "Epic Fail".( There's a website with the same name if you care or dare to research) With that in mind...as of yesterday December 31,2011 I said to myself...man this shit has got to change!!!! I realize that I (me) myself and ME are the only ones that can change it.
Thus, I decided to figure out the five things that are bugging me the most and not just make a simple New Year's resolution about them, but to make a 35+ year revolution and IF it takes me 35 years to accomplish, it will be well worth it!!!
Now I figure that the five things that I have chose to improve are in the order of importance( funny how things can work out) and probably should be approached from the top down. (1-5)
It has become painstakingly obvious to me that my personal relationship is in dire need of improvements. I will spare the humiliation of details, but as my late grandma has stated, it's truly time to "shit or get off of the pot". let's just paraphrase the problems best by saying that it had the "Groundhog Day"( as in the Bill Murray movie) effect. Every fucking day was the same.....although at the end it seemed to be mirrored but worse.
Now, I do know that it takes two to tangle... it also takes two to make a thing go right....la de da
The reason that I etched that in stone is that I'm not 16 anymore...26 flew buy and 36 is just around the corner.
So,poetically that leads me into item #2 the weight loss! It is a pretty open and shut case. Lose weight or DIE!!! With heart disease already creeping up on me, throwing away the cigarettes was a good idea, but not nearly enough. A person would think that drinking more water, getting off of my fat ass and walking, eating less and better choices of food( goodbye high fructose corn syrup(...well at least the 50% I can avoid) would do something, right? WRONG!!!!! I still have a sneaking suspicion that the generic levothyroxine isn't jiving with MY system, but how can I "prove" it? Hmmmm... maybe as I go on to my third dose increase and continue to gain weight???? I just started my third dose increase tonight BTW! I swear IF I gain more weight I need to change my medicine. I bought a pedometer and although it has been icy as hell out, I am still committed to doing as much as I possibly can. But it is NOT easy!!! I am in the process of finding out if i have any heart related issues. You see, in order to lose weight and feel good, you have to feel good enough to do it. When your heart beats out of your chest and you have a hard time breathing... it's just not going to happen. instead of sitting around and letting it get me, I try to kick my own ass and thanks to a VERY motivating partner( my lab mix Mack) I have to get up and do something everyday.
Moving on...being less "needy"...well I probably will write many more blogs about that in days to come, for now I will sum it up by saying less dependence on others means less disappointment and it directly relates to a BIG problem in personal relationships. they can't hurt you unless you NEED them, eh? ( Think about that??)
Next comes the polar opposite being to "make" more friends....but like #1 the catch is that they have to be REAL (in life friends) that you can see and have face to face conversations with. Normally that comes with geography, and through my wanderings I have made many instant aquaintances, but few true friends.
I mean, take for instance the facebook thing. I have 174 "friends", but how many people really meet the criteria? It was more or less a way to just connect to people from various time frames of your life, mostly being old alumni, but now a days it's how some families keep in touch. Ironically the two people that have put into my head what a friend is and a friend should be don't really regard me as a friend, because just like the big relationship I refer to I find that any true friendship has to me mutually reciprocal. So, while tomorrow I could go and make 20 new "friends", the real goal is to make the kind of friends that are like blood to you.
One last note: I quickly realize that family isn't always going to be your friend. Friendship is quite a complex process when you stop to think about it , but aquaintances are quite simple.
Finally to find a healthy, hobby that makes me happy, originally I had written this in as "Find a positive hobby to take up "downtime"", but i quickly realized I wasn't just talking about time when i had nothing to do, but times when I feel like doing nothing or when I feel extremely depressed. I cannot lie and say that blogging will be that. For me writing is direct expression from the soul and is really quite "heavy" and serious. It also can be stressful( which is not what I need). had the list continued...items 6-10 would have been:
6) Reduce stress
7) Don't let stress "get to you"
8) Fight back at stress
9) Find something that relieves stess
10) Kill stress before it kills you
So to find something that is good for me and makes me happy may be a challenge,but for now I will start simple with plowing snow and enjoying time with my dog. Now I realize from the past experiences that everything can turn quickly into a s.n.a.f.u., but you got to start somewhere....
Here's to the first day of best of my life...
I will go into details of my trials and tribulations of how it works out... but I plan to put a serious effort into all five of them!!!
So, a person may wonder HOW I arrived at my list of five?
I also notice that three of the five are non tangible and actually seem to be somewhat interconnected.
Well when I looked back at 2011, I honestly found it to be an "Epic Fail".( There's a website with the same name if you care or dare to research) With that in mind...as of yesterday December 31,2011 I said to myself...man this shit has got to change!!!! I realize that I (me) myself and ME are the only ones that can change it.
Thus, I decided to figure out the five things that are bugging me the most and not just make a simple New Year's resolution about them, but to make a 35+ year revolution and IF it takes me 35 years to accomplish, it will be well worth it!!!
Now I figure that the five things that I have chose to improve are in the order of importance( funny how things can work out) and probably should be approached from the top down. (1-5)
It has become painstakingly obvious to me that my personal relationship is in dire need of improvements. I will spare the humiliation of details, but as my late grandma has stated, it's truly time to "shit or get off of the pot". let's just paraphrase the problems best by saying that it had the "Groundhog Day"( as in the Bill Murray movie) effect. Every fucking day was the same.....although at the end it seemed to be mirrored but worse.
Now, I do know that it takes two to tangle... it also takes two to make a thing go right....la de da
The reason that I etched that in stone is that I'm not 16 anymore...26 flew buy and 36 is just around the corner.
So,poetically that leads me into item #2 the weight loss! It is a pretty open and shut case. Lose weight or DIE!!! With heart disease already creeping up on me, throwing away the cigarettes was a good idea, but not nearly enough. A person would think that drinking more water, getting off of my fat ass and walking, eating less and better choices of food( goodbye high fructose corn syrup(...well at least the 50% I can avoid) would do something, right? WRONG!!!!! I still have a sneaking suspicion that the generic levothyroxine isn't jiving with MY system, but how can I "prove" it? Hmmmm... maybe as I go on to my third dose increase and continue to gain weight???? I just started my third dose increase tonight BTW! I swear IF I gain more weight I need to change my medicine. I bought a pedometer and although it has been icy as hell out, I am still committed to doing as much as I possibly can. But it is NOT easy!!! I am in the process of finding out if i have any heart related issues. You see, in order to lose weight and feel good, you have to feel good enough to do it. When your heart beats out of your chest and you have a hard time breathing... it's just not going to happen. instead of sitting around and letting it get me, I try to kick my own ass and thanks to a VERY motivating partner( my lab mix Mack) I have to get up and do something everyday.
Moving on...being less "needy"...well I probably will write many more blogs about that in days to come, for now I will sum it up by saying less dependence on others means less disappointment and it directly relates to a BIG problem in personal relationships. they can't hurt you unless you NEED them, eh? ( Think about that??)
Next comes the polar opposite being to "make" more friends....but like #1 the catch is that they have to be REAL (in life friends) that you can see and have face to face conversations with. Normally that comes with geography, and through my wanderings I have made many instant aquaintances, but few true friends.
I mean, take for instance the facebook thing. I have 174 "friends", but how many people really meet the criteria? It was more or less a way to just connect to people from various time frames of your life, mostly being old alumni, but now a days it's how some families keep in touch. Ironically the two people that have put into my head what a friend is and a friend should be don't really regard me as a friend, because just like the big relationship I refer to I find that any true friendship has to me mutually reciprocal. So, while tomorrow I could go and make 20 new "friends", the real goal is to make the kind of friends that are like blood to you.
One last note: I quickly realize that family isn't always going to be your friend. Friendship is quite a complex process when you stop to think about it , but aquaintances are quite simple.
Finally to find a healthy, hobby that makes me happy, originally I had written this in as "Find a positive hobby to take up "downtime"", but i quickly realized I wasn't just talking about time when i had nothing to do, but times when I feel like doing nothing or when I feel extremely depressed. I cannot lie and say that blogging will be that. For me writing is direct expression from the soul and is really quite "heavy" and serious. It also can be stressful( which is not what I need). had the list continued...items 6-10 would have been:
6) Reduce stress
7) Don't let stress "get to you"
8) Fight back at stress
9) Find something that relieves stess
10) Kill stress before it kills you
So to find something that is good for me and makes me happy may be a challenge,but for now I will start simple with plowing snow and enjoying time with my dog. Now I realize from the past experiences that everything can turn quickly into a s.n.a.f.u., but you got to start somewhere....
Here's to the first day of best of my life...
